It's just hair, right?

My hair started falling out today. I was getting ready for work when I ran my hands through my hair and came away with a fist full of strands. It didn't come out in giant clumps like I thought it would, it was more like I was excessively shedding. A lot. At first I thought maybe it was a one time thing, but no matter how many times I ran my fingers through my hair, strands just kept coming out. 

I stood in the bathroom, looked at my hands full of hair and I broke down. It was the first time in this whole process that I've cried hard. I stood there and sobbed and Matt just hugged me until I stopped. I've been mentally preparing for this day but it wasn't enough. I don't think there's really anything you can do to prepare yourself for the day when you start to lose your hair. I've been feeling really great lately, almost like nothing is wrong, but now I'm about to start looking like a cancer patient. The bald head is a tell tale sign & even if I feel fine, I'll look sick to those who see me without a wig. It doesn't seem fair. I guess none of this really is. 

Last Thursday I had an appointment with Jeannie, the wig gal. My mom and Carrie came with me and we picked out a really amazing looking wig. It looks just like my current hairstyle. I couldn't believe how real it looked! Most people won't even know I'm wearing a wig. I pick it up on Thursday which is pretty perfect timing. Perhaps I'll debut it on Friday. I guess it all depends on when I shave my head. Tomorrow maybe? I was blow drying my hair tonight and when I was done, I said goodbye to my hair dryer for a while. I felt like a total crazy person! 

The next couple of days will be interesting to say the least. I keep reminding myself that this is all temporary, it's just hair & it will grow back. By the end of this year, I'll be rocking that pixie cut I've always been too chicken to try!

xo,

Ali